i dont cruise control.. i booze control

few summers back i went on a cruise with about 50 people from my family & brought my 2 best friends along (kristina & jess).

costa maya,mexico=top 5 drunkest days of my life.

we get to the island around 9-10 am & we each immediately grab yard long drinks. jess got a mojito & me & booty go with the triple margarita. we get out the bar & realize the POOL IS A BAR. swim up bar FTW!!! are we in heaven?

we jump in with our drinks make our way across the pool & take our seats on some stools in the water. a little mexican man by the name of none other than Jose comes and takes our next order. we get another yard each. & some XX. only beer they really had.

so were drankin dancin swimmin.. mind u my familys here too but they are partyin & bullshit as well.

by this time..everytime we needed a drink..we would start a chant for our bartender.. sung to the tune of ole!ole ole ole!oleee!ole!!! & obviously substituting in his name : JOSE!! we had EVERYONE singin this shit.. he was lovin it..

so he comes over.. me - 'wats your strongest drink' jose-'the MEXICAN iced tea' my liver tells him-'WOOOO! i NEED one (well a few).. gimme that asap'

soooo after havin some more dranks here are my memories from the rest of the day: runnin out of the pool to piss and NOT makin it to the bathroom & jus jumpin back in the pool, my friends tryin to wake me up on the deck back on board, havin a fist fight with kristina, runnin around the boat lookin for some friends, then i woke up at 11 pm in a dark dark room.

i had noooo idea where my whole day went.. nor why we fought... wat the fuck happened.. where everyone was..

i look in the mirror & i am LEATHER tan. darkest i've ever been. wtfff. my forehead is BLACK as fuck.

we dont really talk for the remainder of the cruise becuz in my mind the fight was over the bar tab but i had no idea.

sooo about a week later we talk it out.. & this is what really happened after the blackout:

i drank about 5 or 6 of them long ass margaritas... 3 mexican ice teas.. & probably 3 or so beers.

i was in the pool grinding with this kid my friend made out with the day before in front of my whole family.. but they thought he was cute & they were lovin it o_O

i bought a drink for sum like 14 year old girl & her cool grandma lol

i slipped off a bar stool that i was dancing on & got all bruised & cut up

i ran into & broke a plastic table out of the floor

the bar tab was about $300

i refused to go back to our room becuz i wanted to hang out with my 'only friend' the dude i was dancing with.. well call him cuba.. on the deck

these dudes we hung out with saw me & cuba passed out on the deck.. my money & id on the floor around me.. they tried to wake me up said i was DEAD

kristina & jess came to get me cuz it was formal night for dinner & i hadda get ready for pictures.. i told them they werent my real friends

when i finally get back to the room.. we start arguing & i tell them 'you guys wouldnt be here if it wasnt for me.. i dont give a fuck about anyone but myself' lmao whatt?! then me & kristina start throwin down

my dad hears all this and comes over i run out the room start walkin around knockin on ppls we met doors.. then come back and pass out

i wasnt talkin to them cuz i thought they had tried to say i didnt put in what i needed for the tab but the reality was i was jus being a drunk assshole smh

jus so u can know how drunk we all were...wen my dad came into his room he found my mother naked on the bathroom floor trynna throw up making beast noises LOL

oh, mexico, you really know how to get under my skin & into my bloodstream.