d dubbya i.

u would think since they taught us not to drink & drive our whole educational career that we wouldn't, but they also showed us how to do algebra and i dont remember none of that shit...

i'm a lil reluctant to tweet about this cuz i don't know what the repercussions could be but um if i used to sit there tweetin about weed everyday then why should i censor myself now, right?

i should probably start with telling u guys that in 2008 i tried to stay sober for the whole month of april.. first read my very heartfelt short myspace [blog] about it....

so yeah i ended up failing HORRIBLY... and no not in the middle nor at the end of the month.. i started [well continued] drinkin ON APRIL FUCKIN 1ST... & i went to not 1.. not 2.. but 3 bars that night.. [thx megan] lol. i had a serious drinkin problem..some might think i still do but i really dont compared to my past...

sidenote: if i stuck to sobriety this month i woulda never caved in later this week and went on a date & started seeing the psycho asshole who is now my ex. fuck you alcohol!

well almost 2 weeks later me and my cousin decided to go out for some drankz as usual on a thursday night.. we went to the good ol 101 and had 2 drinks there then went to the cottage (which is another local bar we frequent) to meet up with douchebag...

my main problem when im drinkin is some nights it takes FOREVER for drinks to hit me so i will drink drink drink drink be completely sober at the bar.. walk out to go home & be FALLLLLLIIINNNNN *jim jones voice*

that was the case this night.. were sposed to go to one of douchebag's friends house afterwards.. my cuzin immediately takes the keys and says hell no you are not driving which was a good & bad idea. we shoulda just went the fuck home.

we wanted to go to cvs first.. instead of jus waitin for us first to follow him from there since im hammered & my cuzin is blind.. douchebag rather give us directions via celly.

well douchebag SUCKS at explaining simple directions cuz hes a retard so we jus pull over & wait for his friend to come get us so we could follow him..being that we were mangled.. we were blastinnn the music in the car... its about 2:30 am..

& here comes a tap on the window.. the cops pulled up behind us wit no lights we hadnt even seen em comin.. we look like complete drug addicts sittin in the car with madd empty water bottles thrown around eatin a box of nutri grain bars...

'license & registration please'

yeah so heres a little important fact. my cousin has NO license. & has a florida id. so he takes my license and goes back to his car.

his partner comes up & asks for my license again. im OBVIOUSLY hammered so these fucks are tryin to fuck with me.

'i just gave it to the other guy' 'no you didn't' 'ok well ill search my bag for it anyways'

being a drunk asshole.. i purposely turn my big ass purse upside down and dump EVERYTHING out all over the floor. there is madd shit & i start rummaging through all of it saying 'see its not here.. its not here'.

he picks up an id card & says 'do u make fake ids??'
i giggle 'no.'
'so wat is this??'
he flashes me this card---->
i laugh & say 'you dont know mclovin?'
'no'
me 'its from a movie.. u know.. chicka chicka yeahh'


he obviously didn't find that as funny as i did so he pulls us out of the car to give us field sobriety tests.. weeeee. not.

FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL

my cousins like screamin & cursin at them the whole time.. im just a mess.. they put us back in the car and act like they are going to let us off.. this happens a few times.. get out of the car.. get in the car.. get out the car.. they search the whole fuckin car to try & find something. obviously dont find shit.. get out the car.. get in the car.. blah blah blah.

one last get out of the car.. then they cuff us. awesome. they bring us to the station separately & i dont see my cousin from that point. interrogation. breathalyzer. holding cell. the whole shabang. its freeeeezing in there.. i have a tube top on.. & these assholes kept me cuffed behind my back the WHOLE time until around 6 am. like was that seriously necessary?

mind you its thursday.. so i hadda explain all this shit to my boss. being that i needed to come in a lil late. smh.

who gets a ticket for a dwi durin their sober month? thissss asshole.

in the end. my cousin hadda take the fall & plead guilty for the dwi. still payin fines till this day.

there coulda been so many things we couldve done to avoid it.. like take the keys out of the ignition. pretend one of us was cryin or some shit. jus not say any words to the cops period. not blast music in front of a house.. or not drink & drive at all lol.. but next time i ever get pulled over for some shit like that my lips are fuckin sealed till i speak to a lawyer. they twisted all of our words in their statement.

you would think i learned my lesson from it.. but im not gonna lie.. i still do drink & drive sometimes.. im jus a lil smarter about it.. [is that an oxymoron in a way? watever.]


but im tellin you its not fuckin worth it.. get a fuckin cab.. call somebody.. WALK.. if you're TOO fucked up jus stay away from the fuckin wheel.